In my first years as a stepmom, I’d get so anxious that my hands would shake.
When my husband Darren would update me on the latest co-parenting disagreement, I wouldn’t be able to think about anything else. I was consumed.
I felt like I had no control. My life was dictated by a legal agreement I had no part in creating.
I was so confused about my role.
I was supposed to be a parent, but remember I wasn’t the parent.
I felt damned if I did, damned if I didn’t.
I was good enough until I was not. A glorified babysitter.
His ex made me feel so anxious and insecure. One time I even hid behind a fence so that she wouldn’t see me. She did.
My husband and I were fighting, I was starting to resent the changes in my life. I even questioned my decision to say yes to marrying a man with three kids and an ex.
It wasn’t good.
Then one day I made the decision that changed my life forever.
I decided that this was not going to be my life. I was not going to feel like this anymore. I was going to do the work on myself and my family. I was going to find a way to live the life that I wanted to live, amongst the extra stress that came with being a stepmom.
If you’re reading this right now, chances are you can relate.
My beautiful friend, making that simple decision changed everything. After a lot of work on myself and my family, my mission is to help you get here too.
Through my podcast, this blog, coaching program and membership, The Exclusive Stepmom Community, I show stepmoms how to live a KICK-ASS life amongst the extra stress.
This is not some fluffy claim either. It’s possible.
The first thing you need to do is understand that change starts with you.
Yes I said you.
Forgot about all the ways people in your life are affecting all the things, and start to focus on yourself. Your reactions, your insecurities, your triggers. I know this may seem counter-productive, but this is the key.
Wondering where to start? Here are some posts.
[Read] Dating Someone With Kids? Here Is What You Need To Know
[Read] Hey Stepmom, You Don’t Have To Be A Push Over
[Read] 8 Things Stepmoms Should Stop Feeling Guilty About
[Read] 5 Tips For Dealing With A High-Conflict Ex
[Listen] How We Improved Our Stepfamily Life with Darren + Jamie
[Listen] Setting Boundaries, High Functioning Co-Dependency + A Game Change Stepmom Perspective with Terri Cole
[Listen] Dating A Man With Kids? Start Here. with Coach Sonia
[Listen] Overcoming Stepmom Insecurity With Vulnerability with Kit Rich
[Listen] Addicted To Chaos, High-Conflict Ex + When A Stepmom Should Call It Quits with Naja Hall