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The Mental Load Of The Stepmom

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I’m a wife, stepmom x3 and mom x 1. When I couldn’t find the stepmom support I was looking for, decided to create it myself. I love mac + cheese, distressed denim, sauvignon blanc and all things Dateline. 

Hey, I'm Jamie

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We need to have more conversations about the mental load of the stepmom. The confusion about when to step in and when to step back is consuming. You’re expected to go all in on them, but no one tells them they should go all in on you.

The societal expectation is to show up for everything the mom would do, while simultaneously being told that you need to be respectful and know your place. 

Come on too strong, and you’re overstepping. Tread lightly, and you’re not showing up enough. 

Balancing the desire to protect your family and support your partner while being told you don’t have a say. It’s unnatural and confusing.

The double standards. The stepmom stigma. The homework help. The pick-ups and drop-offs. The laundry. The dishes. The meal planning. The being left out of decisions that drastically impact your life.

The second guessing yourself. The wondering what you’re doing wrong. The being trumped when you disagree.

The guilt you have for feeling the way you do because stepmoms aren’t given the same grace that moms get when they’re having those hard days. 

We need more conversations.


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If you’re looking for more conversations with stepmoms who get it, be sure to check out
The KICK-ASS Stepmom Community. You can find all the details here!

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