Lately I’ve been reflecting a lot on our stepfamily life. My husband and I have now been together almost 9 years (married soon to be 8). It’s crazy to think about how much has changed. It’s also pretty crazy to think about how much is still the same.
My husband goes to court in a couple of weeks. Our co-parenting relationship has never been so strained (or non-existent). Lawyers bills make me want to vomit. There are so many unknowns. So much is out of our control. So much feels unfair.
I’ve also never felt so confident, secure and content with my stepfamily life.
The kids still “forget” we have a dishwasher.
If I look hard enough, I could find cereal bowls with dried up milk under someone’s bed.
There are probably wrappers under the couch
The ongoing court battle is like ground hog day – the same thing over and over again…
My stepson still eats all the lunch snacks after school, even though I’ve told him 739489325 times not to.
My husband and I still have different views on how we handle parenting
We openly disagree about how some things should go.
Some days I still feel good enough until I’m not…. A glorified babysitter if you will.
But again, I have never felt so confident and secure with my stepfamily life.
Even though the stressors we have now are the same as they were 8 year ago (give or take) – things just keep getting better.
You may be thinking “Wow Jamie that’s great for you but I’m here in the trenches. Thanks for rubbing it in”
That’s not it.
Maybe you feel like the ex is dictating your life
Maybe you feel like you have no control
Like you’re arguing with your partner non-stop
Like you’re constantly the bad guy
You feel like (insert emotionally draining BS here)
I get it. I lived it.
The entire purpose of me showing up on this platform every day is to help you get here too. I started this because I don’t want anyone to feel the way that I used to feel.
I’m here to help you thrive amongst the BS.
BECAUSE THE BS ISN’T GOING AWAY.
SORRY THAT’S THE TRUTH
The key is to focus on how you respond to the stress so you can minimize the impact it has on you.
Get clear on your non-negotiable and then decide what you can let go.
Years from now, the things we worry about now won’t matter.
Is it really worth the turmoil it’s causing in your marriage?
Is it worth how it affects the vibe of your home?
These are the questions we all need to ask.
Although the purpose of this platform is to support others, this community has been a support to me too.
This community has also been a support to me too.
The next level conversations, the interviews with experts, the safe space to talk about how we’re really feeling. Permission to throw perfection out the window.
I never imagined feeling this grounded in our stepfamily life.
For that I want to say thank-you… TO YOU!
Every stepfamily dynamic is different. We’re all at different stages in our journey. But even still, it’s so nice to be in community with people who get you.
PS. When I talk about community, I’m not just talking about this blog and social media. A couple years ago I created a space off social media for stepmoms who are craving next level support and conversations. It’s called The Exclusive Stepmom Community, and straight up, this membership space has blown my mind.
If you’re interested in learning more, click below to watch this video. This space is exactly what I wish I had when I first became a stepmom.