Today I want to chat about moving into the house where your husband lived with his ex. It’s a struggle for so many women, and it’s one I can totally relate to, because I’ve been there.
(It’s also one you won’t understand unless you’ve experienced it first hand)
Even though in a perfect world, when you start a relationship you get a fresh start and are able to move into a place of your own, for many reasons that’s not always realistic. Whether it be due to finances, providing stability for your stepchildren, or school jurisdictions, many stepmoms are “stuck” living in the home where their husband lived with his first wife.
Personally, when I moved into to the home where my husband lived with his ex, even though my rational mind told me that it wasn’t a big deal, I had a really hard time. In fact, it took me a long time to feel comfortable in my own “home” (When I say a long time, I mean almost four years)
[I talk all about it in my post “Moving into another women’s house: Making Their House Our Home” – be sure to check it out!]
In that post I told you guys about my good friend & Interior Designer Abby.
I wish I was one of those people who could make a Pinterest Photo come to life, or just walk into a store like Home Sense and grab the perfect decorations for our home and be done with it, but I’m not. I spend hours wandering aimlessly and often come out empty handed (or need to make a trip back and do a return)
That’s where Abby comes in. I’ve been working with Abby to decorate our new kitchen, and to say that she just “gets me” is an understatement. Even though our styles are different, she’s totally nailed mine …. like BANG ON! In fact, she knows I like things before I know I like things.
In fact, she’s so good that I don’t feel like it’s fair to keep her all to myself.
So I asked Abby to share some of her tips for stepmoms looking to transform their space on the CHEAP!
Here’s what she had to say!
Simple, easy, can be relatively low cost and is oh so effective.
A fresh new paint/colour scheme instantly wipes away the past and creates a brand new slate for the ‘new’ family dynamic.
PLUS it requires you to take ALL the decor off the walls (and drive it to a second hand store )
It’s also important to think about WHAT colour you choose. Colour is a vital communication tool that can have a powerful impact on emotions and state of mind.
Especially since there may be underlying tensions and emotions in the home with the new changes, I always suggest calm, soft and inviting colours.
Some of my all time favs are Benjamin Moore’s Calm, Simply White and Revere Pewter (which is what Jamie has in her kitchen)
2. ART & DECOR
I’m a BIG believer in styling your home with art, and I use the term ‘art’ loosely so don’t be scared. No one needs to be a highly knowledgeable art enthusiast to style your home with pieces that resonate with you. Expressing your personal style & vibe visually with canvases, photography, prints, etc. instantly sets the tone of your space and makes it uniquely yours.
No budget for all new furniture? No problem! think about new throw pillows and an accent blanket or two. Changing up the colour and texture on existing furniture gives it new life.
3. BEDROOM BLISS
Now this is NON-negotiable in my mind – the bedroom is where the ‘magic’ happens…and by magic I mean sex AND sleep and if you don’t LOVE your BED or your bedroom you will have less satisfaction in the ‘magic’ department.
SO make the bedroom NEW again. Fresh paint, new bed, new sheets and have FUN with your spouse picking it all out together.