STEPMOMS + BLENDED FAMILIES: Two Things To Consider When You’re Talking About Life Insurance


I’m a wife, stepmom x3 and mom x 1 who when I couldn’t find the stepmom support I was looking for, decided to create it myself. I love mac + cheese, distressed denim, sauvignon blanc and all things Dateline. 

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Do you ever think about just how much all the people in your life depend on you??

Do you and your partner ever talk about the “what happens if” situations in life?

What would happen to your family, if something happened to your partner?
What about if something happened to you?
Or the both of you?

I think about this often. I know it sounds morbid, but my biggest fear in life is that something is going to happen to my husband. Not just because I would lose the love of my life and partner in crime, but it would ultimately affect my relationship with my stepchildren as well.

As a stepmom, I have no legal right to them, so there are so many unknowns about what would happen to our relationship.

Would we still have a week-on-week-off schedule?
Would Reese and I still see them?
Would they still come for a visit?
What would the holidays look like?

I’m pretty sure that EVERYTHING would change!

This fear has sparked a lot of conversations with my husband about things like wills, our estate and life insurance.

I know I’m not the only one who thinks this way too, because I often receive emails from stepmoms who are struggling to navigate these tough conversations with their spouse.

Like most things in blended families, this is another situation where everything is just a little more complicated.

Before we dive in to the two tough conversations I think that stepmoms and blended families need to have about Life Insurance, I want to share a few stats with you!

Did you know that…

74% of Canadians are kept up at night worrying about financial situations?
72% worry about their health and wellbeing?
58% are worried about their family’s financial situation?
BUT nearly 4 in 10 Canadian’s don’t have life insurance?

That boggles my mind!!

I personally am not one to talk about finances and I try to avoid “adulting” at all costs. BUT, the way I see it, life insurance should be an absolute non-negotiable!

Life Insurance policies can help the people you leave behind pay off debt, maintain your lifestyle, pay for day-to-day expenses, child care (which is something to think about if you’re a primary caregiver in the home), education … the list goes on!  

I know it can be uncomfortable, but It’s so important to think about whether the people who depend on you, would be okay if something were to happen to you!

It would be tough enough not having you in their life, they don’t need the financial burden as well!  

For example:
If something happened to me, my husband would have to hire someone to help do the running around and caregiving for the kids because his hours are so long at work. He couldn’t possibly leave work every day at 3pm to get the kids to their extra-curricular activities and appointments.

On the flip side, If something happened to him, as the breadwinner of our family, I would need financial support to help maintain our lifestyle and so I can still be here for the kids.

Together we are a team and we both play an important role in raising these kids up… so we have a concrete plan in place, just in case something happened to either of us.


Let’s talk about child support and children from previous marriages.

I know there are lots of people who cringe at the thought of their ex benefiting from their death, but when you really think about it… even if you don’t get along, you’re in a partnership. Even though you’re no longer married, you’re raising kids together.

So, the question is, would your ex-spouse be able to maintain the kid’s lifestyle if something happened to you!?

If you pay child support, would they be okay without it?
What about spousal support?

Many legal agreements specify that the ex needs to be beneficiary of a life insurance policy, but some don’t, so it’s something to think about.

The way I see it, both parents should have a life insurance policy on each other to ensure the kids needs are taken care of, no matter what the circumstance.


This is where the conversation can get really tricky. I know that my husband and I spent a lot of time talking about this very topic when we were creating our plan, and talking about the legacy/support that we wanted to leave for the kids.

When you’re talking about life insurance beneficiaries when you have kids from a previous marriage, I think it’s important to recognize two things.

1. Sometimes fair doesn’t mean equal.
2. There is no one size fits all approach, what makes sense for one family may not make sense for another.

The key is to make sure that you ensure that kids, who may have different circumstances, are all taken care of.

For example, say something happened to my husband and I both – our daughter, would be without parents. While my stepchildren would still have their mom, who is not only the beneficiary on one of my husband’s policies, but has the ability to financially provide for them as well.

Presently, they are supported by two households while our daughter is only supported by one.

Catch what I’m saying here?

Like I said, it’s one of those situations where fair doesn’t always mean equal.


Here’s the thing, despite popular belief, life insurance is not that expensive. Your policy can be tailored to suit any budget and can fit whatever stage of life you’re at.

Also, the earlier you get it, the cheaper it’s going to be, so don’t be waiting around on this!

To help make it easier for Canadians to purchase life insurance, RBC Insurance has introduced Simplified Term Life Insurance of up to $1 million. They are the first in the market place to offer this type of protection!

Now you can get approved for up to $1 million by completing an online application, that only takes about 15 minutes of your time.

It’s that quick and easy!

So, ladies, if you haven’t already, it’s time to sit down and have the life insurance conversation! Even though it may be a more complicated one to have… it’s SO important to have a plan in place so that you’re prepared for the “what ifs?” in life!

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Disclaimer: This post was created on partnership with RBC Insurance. While I received compensation for this post, as always, all thoughts, opinions are my own.

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