Five years ago today, I had no idea at the time, but my life was changing forever.
March 28, 2012 was my first date with my husband.
Before Darren, I was notorious for bailing on dates last minute. I would get this pit in my stomach, feel like I was going to puke and send a message asking to reschedule… never to be heard from again.
I preferred nights on my yoga mat or in bed reading a book.
Dates made me nervous. Beyond nervous actually.
But for some reason, this time around, I didn’t have any nerves.
None, Zilch, Nadda.
When he picked me up at 6pm I hopped into his SUV and immediately felt at home.
We had appetizers, dinner and drinks… and chatted until well after midnight.
It was the easiest, most comfortable conversation I had ever had.
For most of the final hour, he repeatedly told me how much he enjoyed himself and asked if he could see me again. I’m not exaggerating when I say repeatedly either. I bet he asked 10 times.
It should have been annoying, but it wasn’t.
Two dates later, I had decided I was going to marry this man.
(Even though I had never met his kids, and had absolutely no idea what I was signing myself up for, I was all in. Some would say it was the beginning of a fairytale others would say I was being naive. Both are probably right)
A month and a half after that first date he asked me, “What would you say if I told you I loved you?”
My response, “I’d tell you I’ve loved you for a while”
Five years, a relocation, a wedding, three stepchildren, a baby and a whole lot of STUFF later, our date nights still last for hours. The conversation is still easy and comfortable. I still feel more at home than I ever knew I could.
That doesn’t mean it’s all hearts and sparkles over here. Not at all!
As I just said, like any couple we have our STUFF. But everyone does.
Did you know that there is over a 75% divorce rate for second marriages when kids are involved? I’m not sure where the stat is from, but don’t doubt that it’s true.
Marriage is tough. Throw in kids, and ex-wife, co-parenting and all the STUFF that comes with it … and well someday’s it’s really damn tough.
But we work. We grow. We learn. We kiss. We respect and we do whatever it takes to stay on the same god damn team and remember why we fell in love in the first place.
I think that’s one of the keys to success in marriage… on those tough days (that EVERYONE has) you remind yourself (OVER AND OVER) why you feel in love… and why no matter what you’re still in love!
Tonight we’re celebrating the 5 year anniversary of our first date by hitting up our favourite restaurant. Yes, that’s right, with four kids in the house and a crazy schedule, we’ve carved out some time to celebrate what many would view as a minuscule milestone.
But it’s not minuscule to us. It marks the day that neither of us saw coming. As I’ve said, marrying a man with three kids and an ex-wife was certainly NOT in my five year plan, and he definitely didn’t see another marriage and baby in his future
But life is funny that way! You just never know!
These date nights reignite our spark, fill our cups, give us a chance to reminisce and plan for the future. Sometimes we talk about the hard STUFF, sometimes we don’t. Either way, they bring us back to that special “minuscule moment” when a 40-year-old-single-dad of three and and a 26-year-old-bachelorette became partners-in-crime.
Being on the same page as your husband sets the foundation for success in your Stepfamily Life….it’s no easy feat, but it’s not impossible. Trust me!
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